What the duck?

Isabel uttered her first word months ago. It was duck. She has a gazillion rubber duckies for bath time and loves to 'eat' them, so naturally it became her first word. She can also say hi. and something that sounds like bye. Of course mama and dada are also in there.She can repeat words, such as "are you playing with your doll, Izzy?" and she would respond with "doll". She knows the names of some things, even though she hasn't said the word. She can point to her teddy bear, blanket, spoon, cheerios (or as I like to call them crackios, because she is addicted), puppies, and babbies. However as of late, everything has become duck. She'll point to pictures in the book and say duck. The tv, a tree, another kid and even me. Apparently all ducks. I don't know if it's a regression thing because of daycare (although I swear she was doing it prior to daycare), if it's just a word she likes to say or if she really just doesn't understand (whaddya mean my kid's not a genius?). It has me somewhat worried, I must confess. Well, until the other day when we were playing in the living room on the floor. We were playing with her little people barn with its horses and little stable boy when she pointed to her little table across the room and said "duck". I had had it! "Okay, where's the duck?" So I stood her up and we walked over to her table. "Where is the duck , Isabel? Mommy doesn't see a duck!" On the table were pieces to a toy, one of which was a duck. Isabel pointed to it, and as if to say "ha, ha on you, lady!" proudly proclaimed "duck!". Maybe she's not going to ride the little school bus after all. But then, she pointed to the bookshelf and said duck again. So I almost wonder if she's trying to say book. Which would make sense when we're reading a book together and she points to the frog and says duck. Maybe she's pointing to the book. But why am I a duck also? Maybe she's requesting a book? I dunno, all I can say is I hope this phases passes soon, and quite honestly I also am having quite the distain for ducks these days.

baby steps

Maybe it was the tummy full of food, but Miss Izzy was full of energy and rambunctiousness. And confidence. I know, Jordy knows, we all know that Isabel is very ready (and capable) to walk on her own. She has taken her first steps about a month ago, but she has not taken more than two on her own. She refuses to walk with you unless she is holding onto both of your hands, certainly not one. She will stop in her tracks and not move until you give her that other hand. She practically runs with her walker. In fact everything gets turned into a walker; the coffee table, the highchair, her dollhouse. But she refuses to do it on her own...yet. Maybe she's scared. She doesn't cry when she falls. But perhaps she just doesn't feel ready for it yet. And that's fine. I'm not going to push her and make her feel bad. She'll do it when she's ready, I can wait. But tonight she stood up off the floor and with precise control sat right back down. Easy peasy. So I wondered....I stood her up and asked her to walk to daddy. And she did. She walked back to mommy. We did this about 10 times. She LOVED it (all that glorious attention!) and the most she went on her own was 3 steps before falling but hey, good on her for trying, and enjoying it! Maybe that'll help her with her confidence. But it was sure fun to watch her joyous smile get bigger and bigger each turn. A nice way to end a year being home with my baby girl. Tomorrow the saga of daycare begins. My heart is torn, but my wallet is bare. I hate the obvious choice.

How Time Flies

Wow, my last post was October. Yikes! Well, I'd like to say given the new year, I'd vow to write more but I do believe this will be the busiest year of my life to date. But also, probably one of the best. At the end of this year, I will have received my teaching certificate. A goal that I have been trying to accomplish since I was 6 years old. I am beyond words with how ecstatic I am. Nonetheless, I will also be working my buns off trying to attain this goal. For the electives semester in the summer, one needs a 2.0 GPA in order to pass and graduate. Seems easy enough, right? Hmmm, maybe a bit too easy. This worries me. But I am not going to let those pesky little worrisome thoughts get the best of me....yet. I still have to survive this semester, which I feel is still ongoing thanks to the oodles of homework I've had on my so called "break". Plus I have been sick off and on, and now Isabel is also, which makes for us a perfect pair. But today she was perky and happy and was able to breathe out of her nose 90% of the day. But I am sad. Because on Monday, my little baby girl is going off to daycare. I kind of have a love/hate relationship with this whole daycare concept. I have been attached to Izzy for 11 and a half months STRAIGHT! No weekends or evening off. 24/7. Sure, I've had an afternoon, but really people, how can I miss ya if you don't go away? I need ME time, which may sound selfish, but I don't feel like I need to justify it. If Mommy's happy then everybody's happy. Kapiche? I'm looking forward to no more bending over, crawling around on the floor so my back can hopefully get better as well as the rest of my aging body. But at the same time, I won't be able to bend over and crawl around with her on the floor and play and be there for every single experience that she will have!!!!! This breaks my heart! For almost a year you nurture and give your heart and soul to this beautiful person, you ignore yourself in the process and then one day you hand her over, "Here you go!" for someone else to "raise" for the next year. WTF? Honestly, I couldn't be a stay at home mom. I do not have the sanity for it. I am a selfish person who needs quality alone time with myself. However, I also do not like the notion of working full time either, because I do want to be involved in my child's life, take them to games, spend quality time with them, blah blah blah. I need to work part time. I am lucky that a) I am entering a career that allows for job sharing and working part time as a teacher I will be making the same salary as I do fulltime as a CYC worker and b) am done my day at a reasonable time, have two weeks at Christmas off, a week in March and two months in the summer to spend with Isabel. So that's good. I won't be reaping any of those rewards this year, but most certainly next year. It's such a tug of war, and as far as women have come, we still lack a lot of choice. And punish ourselves for the choices that we've made. I am very fortunate that my career choice can be flexable for my wants and needs. It is funny though, how I wanted to be a teacher because it was what I wanted to do, but now I'm doing it for Isabel because I feel that it would be best for our family. How those values change when you have kids.

Bag O'Tricks

Isabel had a grand time at the library today. We were at circle, singing songs and reading books and she was, as she always is when there are othere wee ones around, much more interested in them than anything else going on. She striked up conversations, even tried winning over some of the moms with smiles. At one point she was so fascinated with the book that was being read she absolutly had to crawl across the room and sit down directly in front of the book to watch. Then when the story was over she crawled right back to me. Too cute. Then she started to pay a bit more attention to the action that was going on in the circle. When everyone clapped she did too. When the mommies were singing she decided to join in (still needs to distinguish between outside/inside voice). Oh and she "danced" along with the songs also (jumping). I can't believe how far she has come in the past 9 months.Just in this past month alone she figured out how to clap, raise her arms to play "How big is Isabel?", wave bye-bye and say it, said her first word (duck), pulled herself up to stand, walking with help and is even starting to cruise (walk along the furniture). Amazing. I think this past month I learned about a new computer program and that's it. Izzy is grooving away and I think that by Christmas she'll be walking all onher own.

Mind your Belief System

Tonight Jordy, Izzy and I (I feel like my name should end in a y too) went over to Jordy's friend's (well okay I guess they're mine too, well 50% because when you're married that's what you get from your partner) house to visit and reintroduce them to Isabel because they are lovely enough to babysit this saturday when no one else is available. The last time Isabel saw them was when she was 3 months old and she'll be 9 months tomorrow. So that's a long time. Anyway, we're all chatting and stuff and the conversation leads this way and that way and I'm discovering that something has changed here. Right here in this room at this very moment. Hmm, what is it? I can't put my finger on it, then it hits me. What these friends are saying is offending me, well maybe not offending, that's too strong of a word. They're finding something funny about children that I see no humour in what-so-ever. And my response is indicative to that. Huh. What happened? I'm a pretty intuitive person and my gut is telling me that I'm sounding like "those people", you know, the ones who have children and turn into assholes who no longer have friends who are childless. But I can't help it. It's a gut reaction. They think having your child fetch you beer is funny and actually know people who do this with their children and do not see the harm to the child in this situation. What has changed here? Is it because I have a child? Would I have found this funny a year ago or even two years ago? Is it because I'm a CYC worker and have seen the end result to these so called humourous parenting styles? Have they just become stupid in the past 6 months? WHAT?! WHAT?! I became very mindful in that moment of how my beliefs and theirs ended up on the opposite sides of the room. I hope that this isn't a trend.

Breaking the Ice

I plan on doing this in two different situations. #1-Tomorrow night at Step class (my body is still sore-is that possible?) and #2 With my grade 2 class next Friday when I start my practicum. In class tonight we all received our final placements and luckily I have mine in the school where I worked last year with a teacher who is amazing. I'm looking forward to learning lots from her. My teacher tonight mentioned that we may want to start thinking of a way to introduce ourselves to the students. It may help them with the transition of having a "second" teacher and help build relaitionships. I honestly never gave any thought to it before, I was so busy focusing on lesson plans and the such. I am stumped. I am thinking of reading a book. A fun book, that is light and hopefully funny. I kinda want to focus on reading. I've always loved it and would like to pass that enthusiasm onto kids. I was thinking of doing an activity with them around the book, something oral and light also. ASk questions about it and tie it into my intro. I dunno. Anyone have any good suggestions for books or otherwise?

Stepping Into A Stalker

Thursday night was my first step class. For some reason there are tonnes of drop in step classes at the rec centre and when I tried to take a beginner drop in, I fumbled so horribly I never returned. So I decided to sign up for a beginners class. Oddly enough, I was the most co-ordinated out of our group. I had to stop myself from looking at some people or else I'D loose track of where we were suppose to be. So anyway, it's just a quickie type class, there's only four, and it was SUPER super cheap. I'm also taking another beginners spinning class (masochist yes) and a badminton class in November with Jordy. I'm really looking forward to it (except for spinning-YUCK!).

While we were warming up at our first step class, one of the participants showed up late. She looked so familiar, then I realized it was a lady who also had signed up for the same spinning class as me in the summer but was cancelled. We had gotten to talking and had found out that she also had a baby a month after me. I was very excited about this and it was all I could do to stop myself from pouncing on her and demanding that she become my friend! Anyways, she seemed friendly, blah blah and for the entire step class I was trying to remember her name. Jeanie? Joan? Jeanette! Then while I should of paid attention to the names of the moves we were learning I was divising a plan in my head on how I should talk to her. Should I just go up to her after class and re-introduce myself? Would that be weird? Would she even remember me? How do I NOT come across as a stalker? At the end of sweating (and thanks to childbirth a lot of farting) my butt of in class, I went up to her and said, "Jeanette, right?" and she responded with "You look familiar". This was a good sign. I proceeded. We chatted out to our cars. That was about it. I asked how her daughter was, she asked how mine was. Ended with a "see ya next class" and that was it. I AM SO PITIFUL. And really kinda feeling desperate also. I'm not sure where to go from here. Keep up with the small talk? Try to be chatty? But where do I draw the line? I don't want to be on her like a moth to a flame and freak her out. I suck at this so bad. I know I'm putting WAY too much thought into this but I have to be careful that I don't reek too much like desparation and scare her off. I need to devise another plan. Back to my lair.