What the duck?

Isabel uttered her first word months ago. It was duck. She has a gazillion rubber duckies for bath time and loves to 'eat' them, so naturally it became her first word. She can also say hi. and something that sounds like bye. Of course mama and dada are also in there.She can repeat words, such as "are you playing with your doll, Izzy?" and she would respond with "doll". She knows the names of some things, even though she hasn't said the word. She can point to her teddy bear, blanket, spoon, cheerios (or as I like to call them crackios, because she is addicted), puppies, and babbies. However as of late, everything has become duck. She'll point to pictures in the book and say duck. The tv, a tree, another kid and even me. Apparently all ducks. I don't know if it's a regression thing because of daycare (although I swear she was doing it prior to daycare), if it's just a word she likes to say or if she really just doesn't understand (whaddya mean my kid's not a genius?). It has me somewhat worried, I must confess. Well, until the other day when we were playing in the living room on the floor. We were playing with her little people barn with its horses and little stable boy when she pointed to her little table across the room and said "duck". I had had it! "Okay, where's the duck?" So I stood her up and we walked over to her table. "Where is the duck , Isabel? Mommy doesn't see a duck!" On the table were pieces to a toy, one of which was a duck. Isabel pointed to it, and as if to say "ha, ha on you, lady!" proudly proclaimed "duck!". Maybe she's not going to ride the little school bus after all. But then, she pointed to the bookshelf and said duck again. So I almost wonder if she's trying to say book. Which would make sense when we're reading a book together and she points to the frog and says duck. Maybe she's pointing to the book. But why am I a duck also? Maybe she's requesting a book? I dunno, all I can say is I hope this phases passes soon, and quite honestly I also am having quite the distain for ducks these days.

baby steps

Maybe it was the tummy full of food, but Miss Izzy was full of energy and rambunctiousness. And confidence. I know, Jordy knows, we all know that Isabel is very ready (and capable) to walk on her own. She has taken her first steps about a month ago, but she has not taken more than two on her own. She refuses to walk with you unless she is holding onto both of your hands, certainly not one. She will stop in her tracks and not move until you give her that other hand. She practically runs with her walker. In fact everything gets turned into a walker; the coffee table, the highchair, her dollhouse. But she refuses to do it on her own...yet. Maybe she's scared. She doesn't cry when she falls. But perhaps she just doesn't feel ready for it yet. And that's fine. I'm not going to push her and make her feel bad. She'll do it when she's ready, I can wait. But tonight she stood up off the floor and with precise control sat right back down. Easy peasy. So I wondered....I stood her up and asked her to walk to daddy. And she did. She walked back to mommy. We did this about 10 times. She LOVED it (all that glorious attention!) and the most she went on her own was 3 steps before falling but hey, good on her for trying, and enjoying it! Maybe that'll help her with her confidence. But it was sure fun to watch her joyous smile get bigger and bigger each turn. A nice way to end a year being home with my baby girl. Tomorrow the saga of daycare begins. My heart is torn, but my wallet is bare. I hate the obvious choice.

How Time Flies

Wow, my last post was October. Yikes! Well, I'd like to say given the new year, I'd vow to write more but I do believe this will be the busiest year of my life to date. But also, probably one of the best. At the end of this year, I will have received my teaching certificate. A goal that I have been trying to accomplish since I was 6 years old. I am beyond words with how ecstatic I am. Nonetheless, I will also be working my buns off trying to attain this goal. For the electives semester in the summer, one needs a 2.0 GPA in order to pass and graduate. Seems easy enough, right? Hmmm, maybe a bit too easy. This worries me. But I am not going to let those pesky little worrisome thoughts get the best of me....yet. I still have to survive this semester, which I feel is still ongoing thanks to the oodles of homework I've had on my so called "break". Plus I have been sick off and on, and now Isabel is also, which makes for us a perfect pair. But today she was perky and happy and was able to breathe out of her nose 90% of the day. But I am sad. Because on Monday, my little baby girl is going off to daycare. I kind of have a love/hate relationship with this whole daycare concept. I have been attached to Izzy for 11 and a half months STRAIGHT! No weekends or evening off. 24/7. Sure, I've had an afternoon, but really people, how can I miss ya if you don't go away? I need ME time, which may sound selfish, but I don't feel like I need to justify it. If Mommy's happy then everybody's happy. Kapiche? I'm looking forward to no more bending over, crawling around on the floor so my back can hopefully get better as well as the rest of my aging body. But at the same time, I won't be able to bend over and crawl around with her on the floor and play and be there for every single experience that she will have!!!!! This breaks my heart! For almost a year you nurture and give your heart and soul to this beautiful person, you ignore yourself in the process and then one day you hand her over, "Here you go!" for someone else to "raise" for the next year. WTF? Honestly, I couldn't be a stay at home mom. I do not have the sanity for it. I am a selfish person who needs quality alone time with myself. However, I also do not like the notion of working full time either, because I do want to be involved in my child's life, take them to games, spend quality time with them, blah blah blah. I need to work part time. I am lucky that a) I am entering a career that allows for job sharing and working part time as a teacher I will be making the same salary as I do fulltime as a CYC worker and b) am done my day at a reasonable time, have two weeks at Christmas off, a week in March and two months in the summer to spend with Isabel. So that's good. I won't be reaping any of those rewards this year, but most certainly next year. It's such a tug of war, and as far as women have come, we still lack a lot of choice. And punish ourselves for the choices that we've made. I am very fortunate that my career choice can be flexable for my wants and needs. It is funny though, how I wanted to be a teacher because it was what I wanted to do, but now I'm doing it for Isabel because I feel that it would be best for our family. How those values change when you have kids.